First of all, our perceived distinctions among people are more fabricated than real. Through our training in perceiving duality, we are trained to look for distinctions, for differences; we know ourselves and components of the world through people and objects that are dissimilar or opposite. We are not trained to look for commonality, for similarities.
We can confirm this for ourselves by noting our internal and external dialogue, particularly about people; we would observe we are often making distinctions about other people.
I am trying to eliminate this tendency in myself. It is not an easy thing to do. I find myself noting people's weight, dress, hairstyle, hair color, and manner of walking and talking. And this is before I even start evaluating what they have to say!
What I don't often see, and most of us often don't see, is that these same people are just like you and me: they have two eyes, arms and legs, one heart, dreams, aspirations, pain, sadness, desire to love and be loved, innate intelligence, abilities and talents - in various stages of expression - and imagination. If we stop, look, and suspend our habit of making distinctions we will find more qualities that we have in common, that bond and connect us, than are dissimilar, that separate and disconnect us.
When we suspend our habit of making distinctions, we discover there are many more people we could include on our journey than we would normally allow ourselves. Besides being a habit, another reason we may make distinctions is to satisfy our ego and the need to feel comfortable. We may make distinctions so we can surround ourselves with people who we feel are similar to us on the outside, in external references rather than internal ones. They validate our definitions of who we think we are, what we feel is right and wrong. There are many ways to climb mountains with many different types of people; we should be open to exploring all of our options. When we seek the common connection of our humanity, many more doors and options are available to us; we empower ourselves to find the people who can help us on our journey.
Anyone who has participated in a support group, or group therapy has probably had the experience of connecting to a sense or perception of our common humanity. In support groups and group therapy, people from different "walks of life" come together to learn and gain insights, share and express their feelings, heal certain wounds, and benefit from the support of others. Their experiences and backgrounds may be very different. But these diverse people share a desire and willingness to overcome obstacles and challenges that are causing them pain and difficulty in their lives. Sharing a common desire and willingness to act on that desire, they are brought together in a group setting and encouraged to be authentic and loving. They are encouraged to acknowledge and express their feelings, to be honest and human, and to be allowing and nurturing towards themselves and other members in the group. Through being authentic and loving, these diverse members of the group are connected in their humanity.
If the top of a mountain represents a desire, a priority we may have, then a primary part of the path to the top is our seeking to be authentic and loving. When we associate ourselves with others who have the same desire or similar priority and are also seeking to be authentic and truly loving, then we have the shared capacity for inspiration through the developed interconnection and awareness of our humanity and the synergy created by our sharing a common priority. We are individually and collectively enabled by the shared capacity to be loving, to allow and nurture, and through a sense of shared connection of feelings, challenges, fears, hopes, and dreams. When we become human, open, and honest, and others we associate with are this way too, we begin to trust ourselves and others, realizing we are not in this alone and together we can enable each other to achieve great things.
So, when choosing people to accompany us on our journey it is not so important that they come from the same backgrounds, share the same beliefs about the nature of reality, dress, look, and speak the same, are rich or poor, or have the same type of education. In fact, diversity often provides an opportunity for alternative perspectives that can challenge and educate us, expanding our awareness and understanding. We are empowered individually and collectively, however, when we share a common desire and a willingness to achieve that desire in an authentic and loving way.
If we are trying to move away from judgment and blame while also incorporating honesty in our lives, and others we are associating with are into put downs, playing the victim, and/or lying, we may feel that we are paddling upstream rather than down; our efforts will be met with a steady counter-force rather than an enabling flow. If we are trying to scale a mountain, the forces of nature and our conditioning - such as gravity and inertia and our own fears - on their own can make the journey difficult enough; there is no need for us to make it more difficult. As self-responsible people we can make choices that make our life flow more easily. If we are choosing to align ourselves with the laws of nature, principles and ways of acting in the world that are empowering, then certainly it would help us if we surround ourselves with people who are doing the same. When we align ourselves with others going "downstream" - aligning ourselves with the laws of nature - our collective journey encounters much less friction and conflict. When we align ourselves with others who are going upstream, we weigh each other down, making the journey more arduous and collectively adding to our difficulties and creating greater hardship.
Through our example and sharing of ourselves, we can help our children to look for our common humanity rather than our superficial dissimilarities. We can help them to achieve this perspective despite the influence outside of our homes that may discourage it. Through our decisions of who we decide to associate with, our children will come to model our behavior as long as we don't try to impose our beliefs and will on them.
As we can not insulate ourselves from difficult people - those who are traveling upstream - we also can not insulate our children. As we and our children make our way in the world, we will meet and associate with difficult people. We empower our children and ourselves when we both understand we also learn from difficult people. They are often there to challenge our abilities and our capacity to act in an authentic and loving way. When we are challenged in this way, it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and further develop ourselves. We may not be able to avoid difficult people, and we may not want to. The difficult people we attract into our lives will soon no longer bother and upset us, as we alter our response and learn the lesson inherent in altering that response.
In the corporate world, as in other parts of the world, there are plenty of difficult people. One reason I knew it was probably time for me to leave was that the difficult people there no longer seemed to bother me. The irony was, I had struggled with difficult people in the corporate environment for so many years, I thought that perhaps I should stay just so I could enjoy the rewards of my own efforts. On another level, I realized I was free to go because I had learned the lessons, and no longer reacted emotionally to difficult people in that arena of my life.
People who I found particularly difficult in the corporate world were those who were arrogant, condescending, rude, and disrespectful. In response I would become angry, defensive, aloof, and vengeful. However, over time I came to see their behavior as their issue, not mine. I stopped personalizing their behavior and realized that they would be acting the same to almost anyone else, which they often validated through further demonstration. I realized they had significant insecurities and emotional imbalances that caused them to behave in such ways. I began to see their behavior as childlike and immature, acting out their own childhood problems as adults.
I began to respond to them in a detached, unemotional way. In fact, I began to see their behavior as silly and would sometimes smile. Sometimes the smile would disarm these difficult people, sometimes they would be oblivious and continue their ranting and raving, and sometimes they would be confused because this was not their expected or desired response. However, as I continued to respond in a respectful and peaceful way, confrontations were avoided and discussions were better directed towards solutions rather than the promotion of ongoing conflicts.
We can share this perspective regarding difficult people with our children. Viewing difficult people as an opportunity for growth is much more empowering than seeing them as the universe's way of making our lives impossible. When we see it as an opportunity, we are inspired and willing to look for solutions and continue to move on in our lives. Certainly this perspective would be a great gift for our children, and save them a lot of aggravation and unhappiness in their lives. We help them gain this perspective by sharing ours with them and by presenting positive examples of how to act in the world when we respond to difficult people in this more empowering way.
A
popular saying is "you are the company you keep." Like most "sayings,"
we should be careful. The people and objects in our surroundings may
influence us, but we are not them. If we are authentic, if we are
independent, then we are who we are regardless of the company we keep;
we know and define ourselves through our internal not external
references. As independent people we do get to choose the company we
keep, and the issues in this choice should be considered. If we are
climbing a mountain and choosing a path, how do we decide who should
accompany us?
First of all, our perceived distinctions among people are more fabricated than real. Through our training in perceiving duality, we are trained to look for distinctions, for differences; we know ourselves and components of the world through people and objects that are dissimilar or opposite. We are not trained to look for commonality, for similarities.
We can confirm this for ourselves by noting our internal and external dialogue, particularly about people; we would observe we are often making distinctions about other people.
I am trying to eliminate this tendency in myself. It is not an easy thing to do. I find myself noting people's weight, dress, hairstyle, hair color, and manner of walking and talking. And this is before I even start evaluating what they have to say!
What I don't often see, and most of us often don't see, is that these same people are just like you and me: they have two eyes, arms and legs, one heart, dreams, aspirations, pain, sadness, desire to love and be loved, innate intelligence, abilities and talents - in various stages of expression - and imagination. If we stop, look, and suspend our habit of making distinctions we will find more qualities that we have in common, that bond and connect us, than are dissimilar, that separate and disconnect us.
When we suspend our habit of making distinctions, we discover there are many more people we could include on our journey than we would normally allow ourselves. Besides being a habit, another reason we may make distinctions is to satisfy our ego and the need to feel comfortable. We may make distinctions so we can surround ourselves with people who we feel are similar to us on the outside, in external references rather than internal ones. They validate our definitions of who we think we are, what we feel is right and wrong. There are many ways to climb mountains with many different types of people; we should be open to exploring all of our options. When we seek the common connection of our humanity, many more doors and options are available to us; we empower ourselves to find the people who can help us on our journey.
Anyone who has participated in a support group, or group therapy has probably had the experience of connecting to a sense or perception of our common humanity. In support groups and group therapy, people from different "walks of life" come together to learn and gain insights, share and express their feelings, heal certain wounds, and benefit from the support of others. Their experiences and backgrounds may be very different. But these diverse people share a desire and willingness to overcome obstacles and challenges that are causing them pain and difficulty in their lives. Sharing a common desire and willingness to act on that desire, they are brought together in a group setting and encouraged to be authentic and loving. They are encouraged to acknowledge and express their feelings, to be honest and human, and to be allowing and nurturing towards themselves and other members in the group. Through being authentic and loving, these diverse members of the group are connected in their humanity.
If the top of a mountain represents a desire, a priority we may have, then a primary part of the path to the top is our seeking to be authentic and loving. When we associate ourselves with others who have the same desire or similar priority and are also seeking to be authentic and truly loving, then we have the shared capacity for inspiration through the developed interconnection and awareness of our humanity and the synergy created by our sharing a common priority. We are individually and collectively enabled by the shared capacity to be loving, to allow and nurture, and through a sense of shared connection of feelings, challenges, fears, hopes, and dreams. When we become human, open, and honest, and others we associate with are this way too, we begin to trust ourselves and others, realizing we are not in this alone and together we can enable each other to achieve great things.
So, when choosing people to accompany us on our journey it is not so important that they come from the same backgrounds, share the same beliefs about the nature of reality, dress, look, and speak the same, are rich or poor, or have the same type of education. In fact, diversity often provides an opportunity for alternative perspectives that can challenge and educate us, expanding our awareness and understanding. We are empowered individually and collectively, however, when we share a common desire and a willingness to achieve that desire in an authentic and loving way.
If we are trying to move away from judgment and blame while also incorporating honesty in our lives, and others we are associating with are into put downs, playing the victim, and/or lying, we may feel that we are paddling upstream rather than down; our efforts will be met with a steady counter-force rather than an enabling flow. If we are trying to scale a mountain, the forces of nature and our conditioning - such as gravity and inertia and our own fears - on their own can make the journey difficult enough; there is no need for us to make it more difficult. As self-responsible people we can make choices that make our life flow more easily. If we are choosing to align ourselves with the laws of nature, principles and ways of acting in the world that are empowering, then certainly it would help us if we surround ourselves with people who are doing the same. When we align ourselves with others going "downstream" - aligning ourselves with the laws of nature - our collective journey encounters much less friction and conflict. When we align ourselves with others who are going upstream, we weigh each other down, making the journey more arduous and collectively adding to our difficulties and creating greater hardship.
Through our example and sharing of ourselves, we can help our children to look for our common humanity rather than our superficial dissimilarities. We can help them to achieve this perspective despite the influence outside of our homes that may discourage it. Through our decisions of who we decide to associate with, our children will come to model our behavior as long as we don't try to impose our beliefs and will on them.
As we can not insulate ourselves from difficult people - those who are traveling upstream - we also can not insulate our children. As we and our children make our way in the world, we will meet and associate with difficult people. We empower our children and ourselves when we both understand we also learn from difficult people. They are often there to challenge our abilities and our capacity to act in an authentic and loving way. When we are challenged in this way, it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and further develop ourselves. We may not be able to avoid difficult people, and we may not want to. The difficult people we attract into our lives will soon no longer bother and upset us, as we alter our response and learn the lesson inherent in altering that response.
In the corporate world, as in other parts of the world, there are plenty of difficult people. One reason I knew it was probably time for me to leave was that the difficult people there no longer seemed to bother me. The irony was, I had struggled with difficult people in the corporate environment for so many years, I thought that perhaps I should stay just so I could enjoy the rewards of my own efforts. On another level, I realized I was free to go because I had learned the lessons, and no longer reacted emotionally to difficult people in that arena of my life.
People who I found particularly difficult in the corporate world were those who were arrogant, condescending, rude, and disrespectful. In response I would become angry, defensive, aloof, and vengeful. However, over time I came to see their behavior as their issue, not mine. I stopped personalizing their behavior and realized that they would be acting the same to almost anyone else, which they often validated through further demonstration. I realized they had significant insecurities and emotional imbalances that caused them to behave in such ways. I began to see their behavior as childlike and immature, acting out their own childhood problems as adults.
I began to respond to them in a detached, unemotional way. In fact, I began to see their behavior as silly and would sometimes smile. Sometimes the smile would disarm these difficult people, sometimes they would be oblivious and continue their ranting and raving, and sometimes they would be confused because this was not their expected or desired response. However, as I continued to respond in a respectful and peaceful way, confrontations were avoided and discussions were better directed towards solutions rather than the promotion of ongoing conflicts.
We can share this perspective regarding difficult people with our children. Viewing difficult people as an opportunity for growth is much more empowering than seeing them as the universe's way of making our lives impossible. When we see it as an opportunity, we are inspired and willing to look for solutions and continue to move on in our lives. Certainly this perspective would be a great gift for our children, and save them a lot of aggravation and unhappiness in their lives. We help them gain this perspective by sharing ours with them and by presenting positive examples of how to act in the world when we respond to difficult people in this more empowering way.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5387835
First of all, our perceived distinctions among people are more fabricated than real. Through our training in perceiving duality, we are trained to look for distinctions, for differences; we know ourselves and components of the world through people and objects that are dissimilar or opposite. We are not trained to look for commonality, for similarities.
We can confirm this for ourselves by noting our internal and external dialogue, particularly about people; we would observe we are often making distinctions about other people.
I am trying to eliminate this tendency in myself. It is not an easy thing to do. I find myself noting people's weight, dress, hairstyle, hair color, and manner of walking and talking. And this is before I even start evaluating what they have to say!
What I don't often see, and most of us often don't see, is that these same people are just like you and me: they have two eyes, arms and legs, one heart, dreams, aspirations, pain, sadness, desire to love and be loved, innate intelligence, abilities and talents - in various stages of expression - and imagination. If we stop, look, and suspend our habit of making distinctions we will find more qualities that we have in common, that bond and connect us, than are dissimilar, that separate and disconnect us.
When we suspend our habit of making distinctions, we discover there are many more people we could include on our journey than we would normally allow ourselves. Besides being a habit, another reason we may make distinctions is to satisfy our ego and the need to feel comfortable. We may make distinctions so we can surround ourselves with people who we feel are similar to us on the outside, in external references rather than internal ones. They validate our definitions of who we think we are, what we feel is right and wrong. There are many ways to climb mountains with many different types of people; we should be open to exploring all of our options. When we seek the common connection of our humanity, many more doors and options are available to us; we empower ourselves to find the people who can help us on our journey.
Anyone who has participated in a support group, or group therapy has probably had the experience of connecting to a sense or perception of our common humanity. In support groups and group therapy, people from different "walks of life" come together to learn and gain insights, share and express their feelings, heal certain wounds, and benefit from the support of others. Their experiences and backgrounds may be very different. But these diverse people share a desire and willingness to overcome obstacles and challenges that are causing them pain and difficulty in their lives. Sharing a common desire and willingness to act on that desire, they are brought together in a group setting and encouraged to be authentic and loving. They are encouraged to acknowledge and express their feelings, to be honest and human, and to be allowing and nurturing towards themselves and other members in the group. Through being authentic and loving, these diverse members of the group are connected in their humanity.
If the top of a mountain represents a desire, a priority we may have, then a primary part of the path to the top is our seeking to be authentic and loving. When we associate ourselves with others who have the same desire or similar priority and are also seeking to be authentic and truly loving, then we have the shared capacity for inspiration through the developed interconnection and awareness of our humanity and the synergy created by our sharing a common priority. We are individually and collectively enabled by the shared capacity to be loving, to allow and nurture, and through a sense of shared connection of feelings, challenges, fears, hopes, and dreams. When we become human, open, and honest, and others we associate with are this way too, we begin to trust ourselves and others, realizing we are not in this alone and together we can enable each other to achieve great things.
So, when choosing people to accompany us on our journey it is not so important that they come from the same backgrounds, share the same beliefs about the nature of reality, dress, look, and speak the same, are rich or poor, or have the same type of education. In fact, diversity often provides an opportunity for alternative perspectives that can challenge and educate us, expanding our awareness and understanding. We are empowered individually and collectively, however, when we share a common desire and a willingness to achieve that desire in an authentic and loving way.
If we are trying to move away from judgment and blame while also incorporating honesty in our lives, and others we are associating with are into put downs, playing the victim, and/or lying, we may feel that we are paddling upstream rather than down; our efforts will be met with a steady counter-force rather than an enabling flow. If we are trying to scale a mountain, the forces of nature and our conditioning - such as gravity and inertia and our own fears - on their own can make the journey difficult enough; there is no need for us to make it more difficult. As self-responsible people we can make choices that make our life flow more easily. If we are choosing to align ourselves with the laws of nature, principles and ways of acting in the world that are empowering, then certainly it would help us if we surround ourselves with people who are doing the same. When we align ourselves with others going "downstream" - aligning ourselves with the laws of nature - our collective journey encounters much less friction and conflict. When we align ourselves with others who are going upstream, we weigh each other down, making the journey more arduous and collectively adding to our difficulties and creating greater hardship.
Through our example and sharing of ourselves, we can help our children to look for our common humanity rather than our superficial dissimilarities. We can help them to achieve this perspective despite the influence outside of our homes that may discourage it. Through our decisions of who we decide to associate with, our children will come to model our behavior as long as we don't try to impose our beliefs and will on them.
As we can not insulate ourselves from difficult people - those who are traveling upstream - we also can not insulate our children. As we and our children make our way in the world, we will meet and associate with difficult people. We empower our children and ourselves when we both understand we also learn from difficult people. They are often there to challenge our abilities and our capacity to act in an authentic and loving way. When we are challenged in this way, it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and further develop ourselves. We may not be able to avoid difficult people, and we may not want to. The difficult people we attract into our lives will soon no longer bother and upset us, as we alter our response and learn the lesson inherent in altering that response.
In the corporate world, as in other parts of the world, there are plenty of difficult people. One reason I knew it was probably time for me to leave was that the difficult people there no longer seemed to bother me. The irony was, I had struggled with difficult people in the corporate environment for so many years, I thought that perhaps I should stay just so I could enjoy the rewards of my own efforts. On another level, I realized I was free to go because I had learned the lessons, and no longer reacted emotionally to difficult people in that arena of my life.
People who I found particularly difficult in the corporate world were those who were arrogant, condescending, rude, and disrespectful. In response I would become angry, defensive, aloof, and vengeful. However, over time I came to see their behavior as their issue, not mine. I stopped personalizing their behavior and realized that they would be acting the same to almost anyone else, which they often validated through further demonstration. I realized they had significant insecurities and emotional imbalances that caused them to behave in such ways. I began to see their behavior as childlike and immature, acting out their own childhood problems as adults.
I began to respond to them in a detached, unemotional way. In fact, I began to see their behavior as silly and would sometimes smile. Sometimes the smile would disarm these difficult people, sometimes they would be oblivious and continue their ranting and raving, and sometimes they would be confused because this was not their expected or desired response. However, as I continued to respond in a respectful and peaceful way, confrontations were avoided and discussions were better directed towards solutions rather than the promotion of ongoing conflicts.
We can share this perspective regarding difficult people with our children. Viewing difficult people as an opportunity for growth is much more empowering than seeing them as the universe's way of making our lives impossible. When we see it as an opportunity, we are inspired and willing to look for solutions and continue to move on in our lives. Certainly this perspective would be a great gift for our children, and save them a lot of aggravation and unhappiness in their lives. We help them gain this perspective by sharing ours with them and by presenting positive examples of how to act in the world when we respond to difficult people in this more empowering way.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5387835
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